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    海子曾写过一首有关法国天才诗人、通灵者兰波的短诗,题目叫《诗歌烈士》。在今天,当我们谈论海子时,我们有理由用对兰波的敬意来称呼海子自己。说海子是一个“诗歌烈士”,这当然跟他年轻的死亡,以及他所选择的死亡方式有关,因为那次死亡对海子和他的诗并不意味着结束,而是意味着超越。骆一禾以一个比喻来论说海子。骆一禾写道:海子的生涯“等于亚瑟王传奇中最辉煌的取圣杯的年轻骑士,这个年轻人专为获得圣杯而骤现,惟他青春的手可拿下圣杯,圣杯在手便骤然死去,一生便告完结。”这就是说,跟大多数死得太晚和死得太早的人不同,海子正死得其时。

  法国作家马尔罗在小说《人的命运》里借吉佐尔之口说:“造人九月,杀人一日……造人岂只九个月,而是需要六十年。六十年的牺牲、意志与其他种种!而当此人一旦造就,当他身上再没有童真、青春,当他真正成人,则唯堪一死。”这话神似中国的古训:朝闻道,夕死可矣。只是马尔罗要比孔子极端得多。联系海子,我们看到,海子并不需要六十年。因为他动用了冲刺的速度,以全部的青春生命和意志力为诗歌牺牲,并最终选择死亡来标点他灿烂诗篇的警叹号。

  海子所熟悉的尼采认为死亡是人生应该学习的最美的庆典。死得其时,则生命意义完全发挥,命运被战胜,并且带给生者激励与应许。海子自愿赴死,因为海子认识到他的时机已经成熟,死亡一事正符合他的人生和诗歌所追求的目标。从这一意义上说,海子之死正是他和他的诗歌最美的庆典。

  一九八九年二月,海子自杀前一个月,他谈到对自己和诗歌的希望。海子说:“我的诗歌理想是在中国成就一种伟大的集体的诗。我不想成为一个抒情诗人,或一位戏剧诗人,甚至不想成为一名史诗诗人,我只想融合中国的行动成就一种民族和人类结合,诗和真理合一的大诗。”海子的诗,正是他所希望的越来越趋向行动的诗,而他的诗歌行动,则以青春生命为手段和代价。他的诗歌走向导致了他的一九八九年三月二十六日黄昏,——这次自杀作为一项最后,也是最初的行动,又反过来成为海子诗歌重要的一部分。(需要表明的是,我这样说并不包含别有用心者所谓“他以死来提高他的诗”的恶意,这样说的意思正好相反:是海子纯洁的生涯,是他异于众人的诗歌走向和他大质量的诗篇使得他的死成为必然,而且伟大。)

  海子自杀以后,他的好友,诗人西川给我来信,谈到海子之死。西川说海子是“头脑十分清楚地自杀的”。“他是二十五日一早去山海关的。他留下了三封遗书,一封给他所在的中国政法大学哲学教研室,一封给他父母,一封给骆一禾。他为自己的死因编了些十分荒唐的理由,只提到练气功致使出现耳鸣、幻听和思维混乱等现象,并提到两个曾和他一起练气功的人的名字。但他死时身上还留着一封遗书。这最后一封遗书推翻了前三封,他说:‘我的死与任何人无关!’……他出事的地点是山海关和龙家营之间的一段火车慢行道,一列火车把他轧成了两截。此前一天他已没吃什么东西,胃里只有两只桔子。从现场发现了一个他的书包,里面装着四只桔子和四本书。四本书是:一本梭罗的《瓦尔登湖》,一本海涯达尔的《孤筏重洋
》,一本《康拉德小说选》和一本《圣经》。”西川又告诉我们,海子是把他在昌平的住所打扫得干干净净以后到山海关去赴死的。据说海子死得异常从容,他并没有卧轨,而是当慢车开过身边时,走到那些车轮中间去的。我们想象他当时的心情,大概正可用弘一法师圆寂前所写的“悲欣交集”四个字来形容。

  从海子的生存状况,特别是从上面谈到的他自杀的过程和方式来看,他的死并非源于冲动和绝望。他所选择的死亡里充满了独特的诗歌仪式,——这的确是一次刻意的诗歌行动!当他死后,我们去诵读他的诗篇,会发现许多成为他谶语的句子。海子在诗剧《太阳》里写道:“我们走到了人类的尽头/我还爱着。虽然我爱的是火/而不是人类这一堆灰烬。”他几乎预言了自己死亡的方式,在《弥赛亚》的《献诗》中他说:“让我用回忆和歌声撒上你金光闪闪的车轮,/让我用生命铺在你的脚下,……”在《太阳》里他又说:“我的太阳之轮从头颅从肝脏匆匆碾过”,“那时我已被时间锯开/两头流着血,碾成了碎片”。海子也几乎向人们谈到了他的死跟诗歌的关系。他问道:“我们在碾碎我们的车轮上镌刻了多少易朽的诗?”他断言:“幻想的死亡/变成了真正的死亡。”(均见《太阳》)海子还告诉我们:“尸体是泥土的再次开始/尸体不是愤怒也不是疾病/其中包含着疲倦、忧伤和天才。”(《土地》)海子的这些诗句直接指向了他的行动。他的死亡方式既是自觉的,又是注定的。不是被命运注定,而是被他的诗歌走向所注定。海子的诗歌走向要求他上溯河源直到进入石头和物质,以身体的牺牲来最后完成诗歌。

  海子是在那些被称为天才的诗人影响下开始诗歌创作的。他称他所热爱的诗人为“王子·太阳神之子”。海子说:“我所敬佩的王子的行列可以列出长长的串:雪莱、叶赛宁、荷尔德林、坡、马洛、韩波、克兰、狄兰……席勒甚至普希金。马洛、韩波从才华上,雪莱从纯洁的气质上堪称他们的代表。他们的疯狂才华、力气、纯洁气质和悲剧性的命运完全是一致的。他们是同一个王子的不同化身、不同肉体、不同文学的呈现、不同的面目而已。他们是同一个王子:诗歌王子,太阳王子。

  对于这一点,我深信不疑。他们悲剧性的抗争和抒情,本身就是人类存在最为壮丽的诗篇。他们悲剧性的存在是诗中之诗。他们美好的毁灭就是人类的象征。我想了好久,这个诗歌王子的存在,是继人类集体宗教创作时代之后,更为辉煌的天才存在。我坚信,这就是人类的命运,是个体生命和才华的命运。它不同于人类早期的第一种命运,集体祭司的命运。”在海子的众神谱里,有着三种诗人。除了集体祭司——他们是荷马,《圣经》和古印度史诗作者等一些口头诗歌的创作和吟唱者——和太阳王子外,还有就是被称为王者的人物:但丁、歌德和莎士比亚。海子“珍惜王子一样青春的悲剧和生命”,同时又渴望上升到王者的高度。但是,就象海子自己所说的,他最感要做的是“融合中国的行动成就民族和人类结合,诗和真理合一的大诗。他希望把诗歌重新带入“人类集体宗教创作”之中,海子发愿道:“但丁啊,总有一天,我要象你抛开维吉尔那样抛开你的陪伴。”他预感并且欣喜“当代诗学中的元素倾向与艺术家集团行动集体创造的倾向和人类早期的集体回忆或造型相吻合”,海子问:“人类经过了个人巨匠的创作之手后,是否又会在二十世纪以后重回集体创造?!”

  骆一禾指出:“海子是从激情的道路突入史实型作品的诗人。”这表明,作为生命,海子渴望的是燃烧和爆炸;作为英雄,海子渴望的是伟大和永恒;而作为一个贡献给诗歌的人,海子渴望的是投入到象金字

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夜晚碎成花

盤在頭上

該是女孩子最明亮的時刻

大街上的人們有些匆忙

他們是否和我一樣

突然感到了

走在路上的幸福

幸福不曾遠離

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讓足下生輝

丫頭呀

你看我愛上了這麼多

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卻把幸福叫做了唯一

 

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我嗅著新年的硫磺味兒

像是嗅到了遠山的寒梅

我燒著這些天地間的紙錢

知道貧窮的日子不會過完

 

我想像著手指插入泥土

那種做愛的濕與疼

我尋找那條走過的鄉間小道

不知道它去了哪里

 

我的兄弟們都回家了

帶著杭州的湖青島的海

大哥大嫂還有小侄子朔朔

一家三口就沒有什麼過不去

 

爸爸的手原來這麼長

長到可以彈鋼琴

媽媽的腰針腳般疼著麻著

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家鄉的朋友有的買了車

有的升了官

幸福跟著菜葉走

有的添了個寶貝女兒

 

父母話不多

把酒倒在酒盅裏

朋友話不多

把酒倒在茶杯裏

 

我的話不多

只是一飲而盡

像風雪阻隔著群山

漂泊的人說不出回家的溫暖

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“從早到晚的酒還沒有喝夠

又到了告別的時候

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風還是風的樣子,霜也還是

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輕砂一樣

漾著細細紋綫的

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一場大火後

還不知道父親已經離去

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一樣

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只是發生在夢中的一個意外

一位詩人說

是少女,打開了通往世界的門

然而又是誰

在火中目睹了火

在烈焰中緊緊護住妻子和女兒

“心未靜

風已動

又是新年看古井”

 

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世界走在世界的反面

暴政和暴行

正把真實和真情從記憶中抹去

我們如此虛弱而活

爲著最後的日子

保留自己祈禱的義務和權力

 

2008.1.10上午


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一個人大了

慢慢學會了祈禱

在一隻煙裏

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把所有尖銳的事物化為柔和

就像把陽光

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塗上應有的明媚之色

 

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樓梯上

小妹妹喊一聲“叔叔好”

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而以色列戰爭和國家大劇院

還在上演著雙簧

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新年還是去年的新年
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2008.1.2上午