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殷龙龙的随笔

 


下雪了

温暖得想让人交一个女友

赤脚出去走走看一看远处的山近处的树

下雪了
温暖得想让人找一座饮酒的亭子

                     1998.11.21

 

       

当年叶孤城在紫禁之巅和西门吹雪决斗时,知道胜不了对方。他还是应约前往。他是否想起了强本的这首诗?  
                                                    

强本出了本《十年诗集》,这是他第一次像模像样地把自己的诗歌结成一串葡萄;或者说这是一堆葡萄山酿出的美酒,要我们用夜光杯品尝。

 

他的诗歌大部分都很短,有的只有一行;我是知道,一行诗最难写,要抓住核心,它是灵感美妙的一瞬——“一场夜雨下得像佛的眼睛(《恋爱》)。


他说:我有九条命,有九个手指。他的另外的一个手指还在挣扎。

 

他曾经对我说过:抓住一个词,深入下去,而不是绕开他。你是放开写了,却没有把它收回来,形成一个浑圆,因此在看似大气的书写下仍然是一种自恋自嗟。不妨先放一放,等一个字字珠玑的夜晚,大袖一挥,尽收囊中,补丁打补丁,成就一个完满的程序和咒语。这也是强本追求的。

 

我和他认识近十年了,算是老朋友,但他叫我写点关于他诗歌的东西时,我却犯难。只因我们太熟悉。

 

强本有太多的诗歌是蘸着血写成的。他认为写诗,自己写就是了,没必要浪费时间拉帮结派。于是他就抽身从诗歌圈子里退出,也不去网上论坛鼓吹。一个人,在繁华的喧闹的都市中沉静;和他的诗,他的繁体字,他的摇滚,他的爱,他的真实,他的寂寥。大气的句子透着末世的绝望,它们如轮子,滚滚而来。而强本的温柔在另一面也呈现出来,晶莹,天真。

 

    《四行诗》

 

母亲说话
我会用肚脐来倾听

 

那千里之外的腰与痛
那千里之后的飘与冷


    《纪念戈麦》

 

诗人的忌日
< /span>写下一首热爱生活的诗

 

热爱生活
就是热爱诗人一生的品质

 

选择生活
就是要让死亡彻夜不归

 

选择诗歌的事业
就是选择世代疼痛的部分

 

火焰是粮食
母亲是挽歌
戈麦是我们不争气的兄弟

 

             1998/9/24

 

强本的诗歌是向后的,个人置身残酷的现实当中,向往的却是一种爱,一种田园,一种特立独行。他没有给自己下绊,也没有丝毫轻松的感受。他在诗人的忌日,写下一首热爱生活的诗,他要活着,好好活,并能知道有个澄明的方向。天生我才,那是古人的狂。强本却有一套理论:人生要倒着活,开始看到亭台楼阁。他的诗和他的名一样,试图接近人生的根部。

 

诗歌究竟怎么写,我不敢托大,至少我不喜欢整首诗,整个诗意人生都是些感官刺激,浮泛的文字。诗歌万万不可离开自身,她就是自己的骨血,肉,精神和爱。

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in the near future because of the increasing population of buy generic 100mg viagra online Dr. ANTONIO CASARICO Dr. PAUL PUPPO.

 

——刘强本诗歌漫说

 

              君儿

 

    1997年2月17

我看到皇城一角青灰的黎明

知道自己来到了伟大首都天安门

             ——刘强本《吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的命运……》

 

这个来自山东莒县,在北京漂泊了十年的人,叫刘强本。如果不是他古典抒情意味浓郁的诗歌,十年的漂泊,对北京这个拥有近3000万人口,流动人口占到1/4比例的大城,实在轻微如一粒尘埃一样不足道吧。也许惟其如此,才有作者“十年一梦的北京依旧是丧葬之城/吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的依然是我的命运”的抒发与慨叹所以他在寥寥几百字的《诗歌随想》中才说:“生存的欢乐,还在变换着脚趾。然而蟋蟀啼不到的地方,智慧也难以企及。在秋光中怀着乡愁,穿越深深的,深深的时空宇宙。”强本是一个感性与理性都十分“强烈”的诗人,曾经一头长发,像头狮子一样“叮叮当当”啸没于北京的长街短巷,地面与地上。

从网上将刘强本《十年诗集》下载、打印,他说完成这个工作后,他已无所适从,诗集整理完,大脑到了一种真空状态,似乎这本小册子意味着一个尽头,我的失落感是如此强烈,以致于很难走出来。跟云枫探讨,他劝我可以尝试写写歌词,是那种从古至今隐秘流传于诗经楚辞到唐诗宋词元曲一至于今的那种不曾消逝的旋律,或者说声音,这样就不必拘泥于是否是在写诗或是写它。但这样的道路就更加艰难,需要打通五脏六腑大小周天,云枫说我可以用十年的时间来做这件事。我最近也在想这种抛弃了文本概念写作的可能性。困惑多多,终无思路。”从这封信里,让人感到的是一个在传统意绪与现代文明间徘徊的灵魂,对寄托身家性命的诗歌写作面临的困境与思索。

其实我不敢轻意置喙强本的诗歌,因其对诗歌创作近乎“严苛”的态度,因其从不曾苟同于时俗的内心倔强。“在大一统的环境中保持一种卓而不群的品质,有时需要的是生命的代价。死者已逝,生者何为?我看到并悲哀的一个现实是,对于诗歌,我们所做的建设性工作太少了!”强本明显带有海子抒情诗歌黄金般品质的短诗,同样凝练,跳跃,想像奇特而打动人心,而时代喧嚣的社会生存环境又从不曾被他“过滤”为一块真的古典之镜,这也许正是作者的矛盾所在,也是作者“建设性”的一份注脚。

 

十年之间

我重复着某种记忆深处的不幸

我重复着某个花开花落的黄昏

 

我称为朋友的白白辜负了信任

我称为爱人的馈赠我暴怒和谎言

现在,我宁愿说不义也是上苍的礼物

          ——刘强本《吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的命运……》

 

在这个“叙事化”的时代,作者固执着一种概括的“大能”,像要把被迫与庸常的生存缩水,抽取出里面的血丝与骨殖。我曾有幸目睹过强本寄居多年的地下室,那斗室之中,墙皮之上,一层层白纸糊满四壁,然后就是一句又一句“灵感突至”时的涂鸦纷然入眼,我记得我们聊到海子,聊到口语诗歌,聊到浮躁,聊到地下室潮湿的不见阳光的起居使一个人内心长出发霉的病菌。像这样的诗句还有“我偶然来到这夜晚深处/我怀抱漂流的酒葫芦/我无法擦去褴褛衣衫上的浩叹/我抬头望天 看见明月回头/白银骤然 强烈拍打栏杆”;还有“我相信风凉的夜,如刀月光,深陷的亲吻/我相信遍地哀愁,少女的真心/我相信短命的快乐的良辰”;“还有“下雪了/温暖得想让人交一个女友/赤脚出去走走看一看远处近处的树/下雪了/温暖得想让人找一座饮酒的亭子”。作者差不多使用着古代的“书面语言”,写着古代的“雪”、“亭子”、“明月”和“栏杆”,让人羡慕这样一个飘然的“隐者”应该已经克服了尖锐与疼痛。但到最后,那吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的依然是作者的疾病,诗歌承载着这份绵绵时空里一个个具体而微的浩汉,呈现着无数人斑斓命运的背面那一块块耀眼的疥癍。这不能不说是一种超脱于“叙事”又直切心魂的抒写范式。是作者于写作一途恪守的“另类”指归。

“诗三百”和“乐府歌诗”之外,我想每一个认真做诗的人都应该叫做“诗歌知道份子”,这一点,看看屈原、杜甫的诗歌谁能否认。以前,下民百工唱着歌便是做诗了,后来得道未得道的士子们,大隐隐于市、小隐隐于野的放浪形骸者,大小各级儒官们要铺笔展墨押上韵脚才是诗。歌与诗相映成趣,难解难分,所以,诗很多时候也被人们称为诗歌。诗歌知道份子能为天地正气、世道苍生唱唱歌,能为人伦大道、自然万物兴、观、群、怨,能以一己之言打入文学、文化这座炼金的熔炉,总是一份对社会人生、文明衍进的贡献。惜乎这个“末法时代”,诗歌知道份子低诵朗吟的环境已由“凡有井水处皆歌柳词降至一个人面对3000万如蚁众生(非有贬意)的绝望呼号。所以,诗歌之声总是难免凄厉,难免锐伤,也许正因为如此,作者才怀念那些寄寓着古典情境美的明月与亭子,栏杆和白雪,才想于一种比照中突显出现代人的窘迫与“存生之恶”。这种逆向推进的写诗法被强本用得炉火纯青,功夫了得。难得的是字字连着血肉,连着魂魄。

但我实在说不好这种以命搏诗、文艺复兴式的逆向写作,其前途何在?文艺不是不要复兴,时代不是不要革命,是重蹈旧窠,还是另立新章,这里面的选择关乎一个人长久的坚持,关乎诗歌长远的生命力。是去前代里寻觅意境,还是直切现实生存万花筒般的活命场景;

是用整饬的“风、雅”之言还是用粗砺的当下口语寄存诗意;是用概括的修辞曲尽其意还是直陈事端与思想,让作品风骨自然裸露,这些其实最后关乎的还是一个写作者的立场与修为。而这一点,刘强本的意识是异常冷静与清醒的,他的选择便自然带有某种决然的勇气。他说:“短诗写作虽然是古已有之的传统,断竹,续竹,飞土,逐肉,但有时更像是一个快速消费时代的宿命。要在这样一个文化紊乱的环境中继续弹歌慢吟的激情,考验一个写作者的更多是思考的深度和不可消泯的灵性。”其实这里说到的“深度”与“灵性”已经是诗歌作者最后的凭借与归依,诗好诗坏暂且不论,一首诗歌如果没有作者天光云影般的精神涵罩,恐怕亦如尘世间众多的行尸走肉,众多“金玉其外,败絮其中”的霉变之物,徒存外表而早失真魂。一些假嗓唱歌,假音做诗者,有时他们越是登堂入室,越是道貌岸然,越是频频发言也就越把诗歌与写作带入误区与歧途。如此行事,不要说去做,强本从骨子里不屑,“话语权首先是一种责任,急于表达的后果是强奸民意”。其实说到底,强本让我欣赏的正是这点:一份对诗歌真诚无欺的挚爱使他始终作为一个远离流派与所谓诗坛的人,而“小言”稀声,而面壁吟咏。

说来说去,这里似乎又远离了“怎样写”的问题。一个严肃的诗写者一生需趟过多少暗道与堡垒,历经多少困惑与茫昧,才能在“文明”的链条上煅造出署着自己名字散发着自身光彩的那一小截,仍如强本所言,“冷暖自知”吧:“不知道的永远不会明了源头的秘密;知道的人心怀谦卑,默然前行。”

 

长发被迫剪掉  是多么伤痛

因为这长发里有血

血里有我的诗歌

忍住一年的愤怒和漂泊

如今长发及肩

要染上金色的阳光

要像一头狮子那样回家

——刘强本《血发》

 

这首诗作于作者进京的第一年,那时长发青年一定还血脉贲张,生存之痛也一定更为剑拔驽张。遍览强本的诗,充斥了这种漂泊、孤独、对社会正义和人心善良的倾诉与吁求。他为洗衣机洗着的尚未成形的婴儿而痛伤,他为异乡求欢中不敢断言是欲是爱的情境而迷惘,他看到大街上乞讨的孩子想到一己的“悲哀抵不过世人的傲慢”,他由“坏玉米”想到“吸劣质香烟/喝劣质酒/过劣质的生活/这是我们穷人的天赋”,他歌唱那“睡在首师大中文系的仓库/一个人迎来了香港回归”的孤单。一份份浪子的诗歌宣言却如此形式工整,语言考究,兴寄深远又直切发肤,这是刘强本的“诗歌之魅”,是去是留,如那一头黑发,都是刘强本一个人说了算。

 

伊西卡你神的石头

仍是我面前的石头

你说“五年如潮水过去”

我就止不住我岩石的泪水

我如果因此渲染了大海的狂怒

我的卑微仍会是投向你怀抱的壮美

这万年黑夜的皮肤披在肩上

我的接骨之歌仍然歌唱着永世的爱人

——刘强本《伊西卡》

 

这是作者的暖色之歌,伊西卡也许是希腊英雄奥德修斯的故乡,也许是作者心向往之的一位高处之神,也许只是一位美好的尘世女子,这首诗吸引我的是诗中体现出的一种“坚守”,我想对爱一如对诗歌,有坚持才有真正的圣洁与高贵,才有真正的缠绵与美好。也许强本是对的,不管世界如何沸腾,不管人心如何变幻,不管诗歌正朝着哪个方向跑步和行军,这一个“我”却始终我行我素,始终踽踽独行,一个人仗剑江湖,甚至把自身的敝漏与单调也化进诗歌可歌可祭的壮丽与浩然。

最后让我们回到刘氏吊兰,回到“吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的命运”。

 

那时的中关村大街古树参天

再往北

我住在一亩园哀乐回荡的日子里

 

不远处的圆明园艺术村

那时只剩下小商小贩

和录像厅里的我为卿狂

——刘强本《吊兰一样苍翠又下沉的命运……》

 

我在想,强本所言诗歌源自“天启”论断是否正确,但不管怎样,“最终的结果是,诗歌吞噬诗人的灵肉,让自己发扬光大。”这句肯定是不错的。那么是否也可以说,除非他不写,除非他是前面说到的假写,否则诗歌没有退路,好诗没有捷径,我们只能一次再次地褴褛出场,并把持续的精进视为诗人一生的担当。

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