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Monthly Archives: 6 月 2014

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眼淚就像懷了好久的孩子

要等一個好日子

才肯來到世間

 

2014.621中午,南磨房

聽“Beat the devil’s tattoo

罪名不用,過期生銹,又有律師被“煽動顛覆國家政權罪”

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當我說我們

總有些惶惑

因為我代表不了任何人

在這個國

有群眾

有人民

唯獨缺少獨立的存在

 

當我說我們

我是想說

周圍還有和我一樣的

無名無姓的人

路邊的茉莉花

拒絕成為自己的花圈

他和她突然進入視野

但很快失去了蹤跡

就像被抹去的敏感詞

 

這個我們

也許就是我之外的另一個我

也許就是我之外的另一串葡萄

滿眼的生命

此刻就如站起來行走的土地

沒有誰願意活在

長滿刺刀的柵欄裏

夏天是這麼美好的一天

如果沒有抓捕和軟禁

 

當我說我們

也包括我所認識的一位詩人

他把自己餓死在深山裏

而我們就是圍繞他的黑蘑菇

夏天是這麼短的一天

很快就會逝去

總有一個告別在前面等著

而我們毫無察覺

當白髮成爲無用的裝飾

但願我們還有機會

和自己說對不起

 

2014.6.10下午,雨四惠東

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我必須及時說出我的恐懼

好給自己壯壯膽

有孤膽的

未見得是英雄

我必須承認自己的軟弱

纔能更好地想起獄中的兄弟

警察說我在懸崖邊

把他們自己說的很安全

我能守住的

無非是做人的一點底線

我告訴他們

八九學生死的很冤

在一個極權之地

無人可以倖免

粽子節到了

我們把自己裹起來

但不能違心說

海水很甜

 

2014.5.30午夜,喝茶歸,南磨房,6.1深夜

 6.2夜又記:某茶社,國保請喝茶,拿出打印稿,讀我530日夜推文:“肝膽裏面衹餘結石,再無膽氣,是為‘膽怯’。我是這樣膽怯的一個人。事未發,而我早已準備好了退縮的藉口,比如親人,比如工作。”說是“好笑”,就沒繼續往下讀:“而這都是他們慣用的勸服之伎。讓人時刻活在威脅中是他們的拿手好戲。他們視我如鼠蟻,我不認慫又如何?估計過兩天他們就來叫我閉嘴了。”喝茶回,發如此回應推:“承蒙朝陽分局國家安全保衛領導關心,一直默默關注我的每一條推文,甚至打印出來,讀給我聽。我很慚愧,並無你們說的那樣有擔當。有擔當的,大都已獄。#喝茶歸