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Monthly Archives: March 2020

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我拒絕了梨花的白和烏鴉的黑
午後的陽光,鑽出地面的風
高處的鳥巢,如烏黑的帽子,扣住天空

我拒絕了媳婦
親情鋪在餐桌上,許久沒買百合花
我夢到大雨頃落
如彈一闕溺水的鋼琴

我拒絕了兒子
不再管他的學習
我僅僅給他拎回來幾瓶雞尾酒
他把門關上,很少跟我講話
我知道他在學著長大,或長不大

我甚至懷疑我拒絕了女兒
我牽著她的小手
不敢使勁又想緊緊抓住
在列車駛過的小公園
女兒說,我們去探險
我想,好吧,多去幾次廢棄的鐵軌
我就不會再想起那個臥軌的詩人

我拒絕了所有人
我是說,生者,和死者
隔著口罩,話語和問候變得多餘
好像大家都習慣了自我隔離
除了那些病死家中的人,跳下橋頭的人,留下遺書出走的父親,被訓誡的醫生,被活埋,被餓死的孩子

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當我敢於說到愛
那一定是簽字畫押的愛
犯人一樣被抬出家門的愛
疊羅漢一樣運屍車的愛

當我敢於說到死
我願意相信在倒塌的霎那
孩子的靈魂躲到石頭裏
沒有痛苦地離去

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無名的畫廊
隔著櫥窗
海水和礁石閃著光

賣了一輩子畫的老人
遠離親人
好讓自己偏愛的直覺
保持在孤獨中

渾身顫慄著
拍賣行裏
惟有他認出了那幅
未署名的畫作

無名的列賓的畫中
住著無名的耶穌

2020.3.7凌晨,果園
看完「無名大師」,一部關於藝術和親情的俄語片,久遠的畫作需要修復,親情亦然。在椅子的飛速旋轉中,老人與女兒,孫子的情感修復來得太遲,不免讓人遺憾。然而生命的面貌大抵如此,因爲偏愛,必然捨棄,哪怕是關乎最親的人。

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親愛的媳婦
隔著餐桌
妳潑我一臉的
鮮榨椰汁
澆滅我的怒火

2020.1.6凌晨,果園,雪停,3.26,下午

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當他們在準備美食
我在準備美景
我卻從未啟程

2020.1.19上午,巴士,擁堵中