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整個冬天

我都在跟文字較勁

克里希那穆提說

“詞語衹能寫出它能寫的”

彷彿文字不是人類血液中的元素

詞語不是夢和醒之間的橋

墨水弄髒手指的喜悅再不回來


整個冬天

我都在跟文字較勁

“匹夫何罪

懷字其罪”

直到我意識到

謊言不是始於文字

而是始於人心

一個敗壞的時代

也是懼怕文字的時代


整個冬天

我都在等待這樣一個時刻

大樹飛旋著年輪

文字流淌如魚群

胎兒嬉戲於羊水

那些侷限我的事物

也在幫我打碎花瓶

如此我才能告訴你

美好的事物都有自己的風聲

一個字一個字救自己

才能讓記憶跟上記憶


2015.12.28黃昏,12.31下午,水南莊

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但願

我還能用這兩根

鐵軌的長筷

夾起

歲月的殘羹

追尾的厄運


2015.12.28上午,水南莊

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我的愛不夠

把一隻流浪狗

抱回家

它在雨地裏

車來車往的馬路中間

不知閃避

我知道屬於它的

那份茫然

也長在我身上

 

我的愛不會

因為一個孩子的遇難

而多些悲傷

他溺斃在海邊

蜷縮在垃圾箱

被踩踏在地鐵扶梯

或死於豆腐渣校舍

我知道屬於他的

那份夭折

也長在父母身上

 

我的愛不夠

給獄中的朋友

寫一張新年賀卡

想寄的時候

也沒有誰告知

那些失蹤者的地址

我知道屬於良心犯的

那份擔當

勝過了鐐銬的重量

 

我的愛不夠

爬上雪山

撲滅一座自焚的城

不夠偷越邊境

去制止一場戰爭

不夠對恐怖份子說

中文聖戰歌裏的血腥

我知道屬於自己的

那份奔波

不夠安心而活

 

2015.12.22冬至,午後,霾,水南莊

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短髮直直

正與夜齊

春心萌兮

母性之始


柳下曳曳

亂入褻衣

春心撩兮

母性之儀


長髮短淚

我心焦焦

美目翻兮

母性之失


情之戕之

吞藥如食

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2015.12.18下午,水南莊

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生而無趣

死如泥牛

聒噪嘲哳

自甘芻狗

構陷圍捕

黥面蒙羞

兒輩何辜

淪為同謀

辣手摧花

緊箍邪咒

惡道如斯

坐等死否


歷代而下

血腥板結

民主之途

未知遐邇

新年舊景

人心難覓

生於不安

死於無智

何以自慰

硅膠之娃

威哉天朝

霾氣長存

壯哉吾民

牛馬為壽


2015.12.21,水南莊

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每個清晨

擠牙膏

成了唯一的禱告


每個夜晚

總忘了

數一數失蹤的人


疲憊

掛在脖子上

狂躁

植入方腦殼


災難

總是先於祝福

向新年致敬


誰還記得

文字和釘子

安靜又尖銳的樣子


誰還記得

月亮上的那場雨

大過了情人的應許


當我

徒有人形

比標本和假肢

更僵直


內心的獸性

就不會聽到

鳥鳴撞上玻璃的回聲


2015.12.20下午,南磨房

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無路可走

就把一棵樹

當做道路

它不會折腰而行


到達一棵樹

要穿過所有的距離

霾障

窗玻璃

監視器


一棵樹

打坐

不動中萬動

比佛更徹底

無知的人

剝了它的皮


一棵樹

你看不到它的疼

更多時候

你當它不存在

彷彿它不是重要的


一棵樹

不言不語

不像一個人

活在詞語裏


2015.12.10黃昏,南磨房

世界人權日,五年前的今天還被他們軟禁在一個小旅館。

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一場霾疫在蔓延

天空陰沉如屍斑

就要降下黑冰雨

 

一場霾疫在蔓延

把每一所房子

隔離成毒氣室

 

一場霾疫在蔓延

讓每一片肺葉

吞下催淚彈

 

一場霾疫在蔓延

每一條街道

都被咳嗽聲充滿

 

活在恐怖片裏

那麼多

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2015.12.1上午,下午,爆表,水南莊

毒霾已氾濫成瘟疫。

一場霾疫,成為死亡加速器。

在霾都,被慢性自殺成了倖存者的義務。

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在一個角落

彷彿咖啡

也跟著傾斜


酒做的雙簧管

有些香醇


隔著玻璃窗

暖的像一塊巧克力


如果有種死亡

不是那麼寒冷


如果繩索

衹是孩子們的跳繩


如果驚醒我的

不是從天而降的雪崩


2015.10.28早,Esquires

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半夜闖進家門的是些什麼人

他們撬鎖而入

滿屋子翻騰

嬰兒的哭聲裏

妻子也嚇得斷奶

他們拿走我的電腦,書籍,記憶

他們帶走我

把我的孩子押作人質

好讓我說出違心話

讓我證明自己是個壞人


2015.10.19日上午,10.28上午,水南莊