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Monthly Archives: September 2012

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“如果八月不是告別

夏日不是往回憶裏躲

我不是妳遇到的那個人”

 

“如果前門打得開春天

死亡沒有敲錯門

貓不是整晚都嬰兒一樣叫著”

 

 “如果妳留的不是短髮

孩子的眼睛沒有倒影著憂鬱

末班車不是最後一班車”

 

 “如果不是因為一本慌張的詩集

妳不是穿了一條春天一樣的短裙

孩子不是張開了彩虹的小手臂”

 

“如果河南老家不止是貧瘠

十六歲的妳還上得起學

那個老男人沒有把妳包養起來”

 

“如果一場雪下得不是那麼深

孩子不是在一片雪花裏喊媽媽

聖誕夜的櫥窗還容得下一個異鄉人”

 

“如果不是妳把謊言說的柔媚入骨

背叛不是一把捅進肺部的刀子

自殺不是妳用來重逢的禮物”

 

 “丫頭呀,我曾脫光了衣服

甚至脫光了靈魂

祗希望妳留下來”

 

2012.8.31下午,西店;9.15拂曉;9.27上午,西店

“丫頭呀,妳不知道我們其實一直都在受苦,生活不停地在陰溝裏翻著船,而拉長海岸線的愛情才是我們得以存活的理由。但願今生我們不再相見,但願妳不再傷害自己,但願妳會在某個瞬間想起海邊那個畫師,他在為妳畫肖像畫的同時也畫下了風。”

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破曉之光,我聽到黑暗像玻璃一樣被擊碎。丨攝影:Ilic Danie

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北京把僅有的一點美好留給了秋天。

對二十四節氣,我似乎有種本能的迷戀。立秋作為一個轉折,似乎預示著某種邂逅,某種好運,某種可以在空氣中縈繞的東西。一如王娟的聲音在午夜響起,讓生活回到該有的安靜中。

920日晚她在江湖酒吧的演出,又在一個新疆小館,在朋友的酒杯裏傳遞到了黎明。

 

北京的秋天,總是可以肆意地藍。

立秋之日,似乎是在立下一個字據,讓美好的事物,暫時放在音樂的收納盒裏。這份美好的氣質,這麼多年來也一直伴隨著王娟。見過王娟的人,或許首先感受到的是她那份於無聲處的謙和柔順。

有人說好聽的聲音如顆粒,可我分明在王娟午夜迴環繞梁的彈唱裏,看到那些聲音相親相愛,建起了一座水晶城。

而我內心的喜悅在於,我目睹了一座以秋天命名的水晶城的誕生。

或者,換一種樂評人的表達:王娟乾淨嫵媚的聲音,在和絃的威逼利誘下,榨出了水晶。

 

北京的秋天,一不小心拐進東棉花胡同,拐進江湖酒吧。

東棉花胡同,這麼柔軟的名字,可以抱進懷裏。

再北一點,是殺氣騰騰的北兵馬司胡同;再南一點,是炒豆胡同。

在胡同裏,北京才做回自己,不再像是個冒牌城市。

在陶然亭的邊上,才有個女孩與音樂結緣,與佛結緣。

也因此,在王娟的音樂裏,另有一種底色:一如老北京炒豆的脆生和香甜,一如老北京糖葫蘆的紅火和晶瑩。

 

北京的秋天,藍色是唯一的遺產。

但也許祗有在這個擰巴的京城,才會有王娟的非分之想:她想讓這座城市安靜下來,配得上一顆安靜的心。

安靜的心敲著鼓,就是我理解的王娟的民謠。

民謠,一如王娟唱出的“童謠”,本沒有什麽國界。

古詩十九首,白居易的詩,晏幾道的詞,算上納蘭容若,再如近現代的戴望舒,顧城,海子,哪個不是民謠的孩子?

抑或說,天涯淪落的孩子,“若似月輪終皎潔,不辭冰雪為卿熱”的孩子,“說是海的遼遠的相思,說是寂寞的秋的清愁”的孩子。

是的,民謠就是那個長不大的孩子,任性而溫暖。

 

北京的秋天,突然飄滿的紅袖標、紅標語,讓人看到醜陋在陽光下的樣子。

那是一種心理的極度不適。就像夏天在路邊小攤吃麵條,吃到最後泛出來一隻蒼蠅。原諒我這個發生在自己身上的蹩腳的比喻。

努力做一個人。做一個完整的人,要付出的卻是煽顛的代價。走到街頭拉小提琴琴謀生的陳平福老師,尚在獄中的朱承志大哥。他們祗是不願意出賣自己的良心。

做一個人。多難。多難。

王娟在初秋的夜晚唱道:“你知道這是一條沒有回頭的路。”

有人說,這是最好的時代,也是最壞的時代。但願這不是一句繞口令吧。

有人替我坐牢,有人替我唱歌。我慶倖有這麼多好朋友好兄長好姐妹。

 

北京的秋天,滿大街找一棵樹。大的可以落葉歸根。

海子說,誰的聲音可以抵達秋之子夜/沒有絲毫的寬恕和溫情/秋已來臨。

沒有絲毫的寬恕和溫情。除了王娟在黑夜裏唱出的歌。

那是一個噤聲時代唱也不夠,聽也不夠的安寧。

 

2012.9.21,上午,西店

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一個以筆為弦

又以弦為筆的人

讓我相信

苦難雖然長久

美好也有他的孿生兄弟

 

2012.9.11淩晨

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媳婦說

你看這天氣

黑的都能擠出水來

 

濃郁的囚禁中

最響亮的 竟是

鳥市上的聒噪聲

 

似乎“噤聲”

是我們今生唯一的主題

似乎“妥協”

是一雙擠進大腦的鞋子

 

在山巔的陰影裏

我們似乎卻忘了

自由需要連署

靈魂需要親近

 

一個以筆為弦

又以弦為筆的人

讓我相信

苦難雖然長久

美好也有他的孿生兄弟

 

2012.9.11凌晨,早,路上,傍晚

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“秋天來臨

涼是我們唯一的衣服”

 

“在這個國

不需要夏加爾的山羊胡”

 

“你嘮嘮叨叨

以為能把專制聊出一個民主”

 

“你站在法院門口

要求旁聽一場雨”

 

“你去林昭墓

想偷盜她的血書”

 

“你看到好友被吊死窗前

像吊死人間最美的風景”

 

“此刻你囚禁於何處

倔強是不是這個國最後的風骨?”

 

“朱大哥,家鄉炊煙香

牢獄是不是這個國唯一的建築?”

 

2012.9.6中午,南磨房

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寫詩,無煙

總少了那麼一點火候

 

聽雨,無眠

總多了那麼一絲竊喜

 

用一個夏天寫下的詩夠不夠告別

用一個天才留下的命夠不夠安魂

 

八月逝去

仿佛我在逝去遠山在逝去

 

襤褸著長髮

襤褸著文字

一副大搖大擺的樣子

 

我想寫的其實是一件秋衣裳

我想寫是其實是一件酒衣裳

我想寫是其實是一件海衣裳

 

秋風在膝蓋裏疼

酒和白髮一樣白

海比女孩子洶湧

 

2012.9.2夜,南磨房

媳婦說,你又在熏詩了

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在一切戕害的事物之上

此刻夏日正呈現出午後的安寧

 

 “此刻太陽扛著時間的頭顱

太陽扛著奇跡的頭顱

太陽扛著示眾的頭顱

 

太陽的三顆頭顱

不同於於人類的頭顱

 

此刻太陽

像一個勤勞的鐵匠

鍛打慵懶的魂靈

把他們裹在陰影裏

照看他們的有生之年

 

 “他們卻把衣服晾在那兒

濕漉漉地活著

 

不像道路旁的小狗狗

努力嗅著草葉青青

嗅着以草為詩的好年景

 

 “他們似乎習慣了遺忘和躲藏

讓花朵替自己開放

讓勇士替自己犧牲

又讓苦難成為孩子的刺青

 

此刻天空呈現出夏日的安寧

當惡夢回到惡夢的瞬間

大地依然升起它的炊煙


 

2012.7.1下午,南磨房

9.2上午,雨後,南磨房