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我拒絕了梨花的白和烏鴉的黑
午後的陽光,鑽出地面的風
高處的鳥巢,如烏黑的帽子,扣住天空

我拒絕了媳婦
親情鋪在餐桌上,許久沒買百合花
我夢到大雨頃落
如彈一闕溺水的鋼琴

我拒絕了兒子
不再管他的學習
我僅僅給他拎回來幾瓶雞尾酒
他把門關上,很少跟我講話
我知道他在學著長大,或長不大

我甚至懷疑我拒絕了女兒
我牽著她的小手
不敢使勁又想緊緊抓住
在列車駛過的小公園
女兒說,我們去探險
我想,好吧,多去幾次廢棄的鐵軌
我就不會再想起那個臥軌的詩人

我拒絕了所有人
我是說,生者,和死者
隔著口罩,話語和問候變得多餘
好像大家都習慣了自我隔離
除了那些病死家中的人,跳下橋頭的人,留下遺書出走的父親,被訓誡的醫生,被活埋,被餓死的孩子

2020.3.24凌晨,3.26上午

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