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人類創造節日,以此證明遺忘其實比記憶更強大。

我們把這個招呼死者的日子,叫做清明節,清明卻從此有了自己的生日。

 

一個官方版本的清明假日,卻是為了讓草民繼續恪守君臣父子的孝道,把跪著活當成自然之事。

跪著活的結果,就是在此國,非正常死亡太多了。

在奇怪的國,奇怪地死去,沒有人會覺得是意外。

自殺,被自殺,也沒有比此國更多的死法。

以至於,僅有一個清明不夠祭奠。

 

死者有林昭,有四千萬餓殍遍野,有右派和夾邊溝,有六四青年,有自焚的藏人,有死於車輪的錢雲會死於推土機的維權者,有唐福珍,有被上吊的李旺陽,李淑蓮,被輪姦致死的嚴曉玲,有被活摘器官的,割喉的,有死於是豆腐渣工程的汶川孩子,有屠童案有死於校車事故的孩子,有被癮君子鎖在家裏餓死的嬰兒;有死於靜安大火,天津大火,膠東追尾,溫州追尾的無辜者,有被砍死於昆明火車站的民工,有被地鐵門擠死的婦女,地鐵扶梯逆行被踩踏死的孩子,有在跨年狂歡夜被踩踏死的年輕人,有因為忍受不了流水線作業而接連跳樓的年輕人甚至把自己餓死在深山老林的詩者,有一抑鬱就跳樓的大小官員,有死於失聯的飛機鄰國扔來的炸彈,有冤死在惡警搶下的徐純合,有死於長江客輪的落水者……

對於生者,死亡是最大的隱喻。而在此國,死亡殘缺,冤魂擁擠,都是潦潦草草的生涯──誰能確信自己不是下一個受害者?

 

在官方字典裏,草民從來是服從的代名詞,一有風吹草動,必定斬草除根。生為徭役,死為草蓆,草民不過是官家的易耗品。

對大多數人來說,在極為被動地經歷了一生的操勞之後,他們所求的不是解脫,不是抗爭,而是楠木棺材的哀榮;燒紙──這個纏繞著孝道的動作,遂成為國人表達哀思的簡單選項。

而這些冥幣,全都是比通脹更大的面額。印上毛魔頭,你就燒的更旺一些吧。我們不斷燒著紙錢,來確定死者已徹底死去。

 

我們發明一個祭日,清明卻開始慶祝自己的生日。

橫亙在遺忘和健忘的河流上,除了活著,我們無事可做。

 

2015.4.4上午,南磨房

2015.5.6下午,5.7上午,午後,四惠東

2015.5.9上午,陰天,南磨房

2015.5.10深夜,雨歇,南磨房

2015.6.2下午,四惠東


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陽光照著讀書的女孩 

陽光照著書 

像照著棉被 


文字的光遇到陽光 

每個字都溫暖 

都想說出心裏話 


女孩翻著安妮日記 

黑暗的縫隙裏 

她把陽光當成了書籤 


2015.5.30上午,南磨房 

“此刻 

我聽到陽光翻書的聲音 

文字和光線碰杯的聲音 

美好的事物於是永存”