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成都幾個文化人,帶著口罩,春熙路上散步,被拎到派出所,還有一個在裏面,據說是藏毒,其實是因為他寫了篇文章,有個很俗的題目,「戴口罩站崗的武警不知道他們才是那坨最沉重霧霾」,大致看了下,斷章摘出一句,「沒有了刀把子這坨霧霾,人們早就終結了這個製造霧霾的體制,霧霾早就解決了,我們又開始在這片神州上重建我們的家園。」怪不得,敢把刀把子和霧霾相提並論,揭其私處,難免會被關照,希望他能躲過此劫。

寫字有罪,戴口罩有罪,所以文字獄之後,他們又有了新花招,不許戴口罩,不許孩子帶口罩。如果我們還信奉冥冥之中的神明,還像哲人說的那樣認為人是思想的蘆葦,還像詩人說的那樣人要詩意棲居大地,那麼就很難想象,明知毒霾危害健康的基本事實而禁止孩子進行自我保護,如果這樣的人也是人,那麼我寧願不做人類的一員。

霾天連連,出不了門,女兒從出生到現在,七個多月的時間,大部分時間都待在家裏,悶熱凝滯,一個封閉的環境怎麼可能有助於孩子的發育成長?焦慮愧疚,時時嚙心。四弟說,除了自救,別無他途。當初也是怕了杭州的毒霾,不想自己的孩子繼續在這種污爛的環境中長大,四弟才費盡心血,舉家移民。

剛又看到西安的石獅子也被戴上口罩,再發不出獅子吼。阿房宮沒了,焚書坑儒的傳統還在發揚光大。對付民間維權的勇士,對付有骨氣的律師,對付有擔當的推友,對付NGO組織,他們慣用煽動顛覆,顛覆國家,聚眾擾亂,尋釁滋事各種「口袋罪」,如今再加「口罩罪」,散個步也被錄口供,再發展下去,恐怕路上多看兩眼美女也是罪過。這樣一個多災之所,高居廟堂者正在主演一場曠日持久的荒誕劇,不幸所有人都被裹挾其中。

口罩有罪,你有罪,我有罪,我們都是戴罪之身,暫時的安全以精神的幾近崩潰為代價,強自度日。


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親愛的女兒

碰到一個好天氣

我們像撿到了寶貝

終於可以在陽光下

曬曬妳感冒的鼻子

 

陽光和冷風劃出十字

枯枝捲起了便簽

空氣清冽如假酒

小狗狗老得哆嗦著腿

流浪貓似乎在跟我說好久不見

 

親愛的女兒

妳的眼睛引來風帆

妳的小手夠著了小腳丫

妳的小腳丫夠著了小嘴巴

妳咔咔咔哭起來,哦,妳最好不哭

 

親愛的女兒

我想把自己的一切獻給妳

這麼少的一切

加上我的生命也不嫌多

抱著妳把妳舉過肩頭的歡喜

 

2016.11.28凌晨兩點,聽Leonard
Cohen-It seemed the better way

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忘了拉褲鏈
我們不覺得出醜

忘了問候內心
我們不覺得出醜

忘了擋坦克的人
我們不覺得出醜

忘了獄中的朋友
我們不覺得出醜

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寒冷把人釘在木板上

一位女民謠歌手

躺在七個男人的村莊

壓低的喘息如山谷到峰巔


那麼多年了

我仍沒有找到

比濺起的紅柿子更艷的詩句

也沒有找到

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「一個壞的

也是懼怕文字的代」


「有人用文字寫詩

有人用文字謀生

有人閹割文字又用文字閹割

有人用文字造出宗教

各自有了一套說辭」


「在標語盛行之地

把文字變成謊言的努力

從未停止」


「那些官僚信奉的

奴役文字才能俘獲人心」


「那些惜字的人

知道文字本就是血中的血

是口袋裏僅存的良知」


「一個捍衛文字的人

也是理解了文字局限的人

那些帶來局限的事物

也在幫你打碎花瓶」


「匹夫何罪

懷字其罪

一個字一個字救自己

才能讓記憶跟上真實」


2015.12.28黃昏,12.31下午,水南莊

2016.7.22上午,7.27晚,南磨房

2016.7.28午後,水南莊

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PS:倒數第二句化用了木心的句子,「一個字一個字把自己救出來」。

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如何理解玻璃劃傷了酒,也請如何理解我。

叫我的名字,如果你想冒犯我。

年輕的枝丫跳動著麻雀,讓我習慣了角落。

皺紋,病榻,墓石,都在老去,但那不是我。

請相信一首詩裏的生活,喜悅跟上了暮色。

請相信你看到的那個我,是一個冒名者。


2016.9.21黃昏,水南莊

2016.9.25黃昏,重霾,南磨房

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在網絡時代,作為肉體凡胎的人,「電子化」已成為一個基本屬性。藉由技術之手,現代人按時完成每天的生活和學習,像完成一個既定的流程。手機,電腦,家電,影視,遊戲,VR,GPS……在一大堆電子器件中,人正成為金屬動物。

而就人的初衷而言,簡單和淳樸,才能讓人心走的更近。人心要求著返璞歸真,手藝人一樣,一切勞作靠雙手完成,純手工製作,原創和手寫,就像小時候捏的泥人。

那麼,在技術圍墻和心靈擴張的兩難之境中,有和解共進的路徑嗎?或者說,當我們用一種類似疫苗的技術成果作為載體進行自我表達時,這種「自我表達」是真實可信的嗎?當一切皆虛擬,真實是否從此消失?在意識到這種局限後,個體將如何自我表達,并自我認同?

顯然,不管個體是接納還是排斥,技術必然有自己的演進路徑,無論你是熱愛還是遠離,技術都是現實存在的一部分,并把因此產生的能量和成果作用於人類。

換言之,技術的雙刃劍,就如暴力美學,意味著施與與掠奪並存。當技術讓導彈變得精準,則意味著人可以更精緻地殺人,當技術讓數據肆意變形,人將無法信任投票或調研的結果。

以技術的名義,可以造福,也可以殺戮。比如立在社區的大型等離子屏,作為一種拙劣的洗腦工具,呼應著一九八四中提到的電子幕,告訴你老大哥無處不在。在電影「飢餓遊戲」中,類似的電子天幕,替代了自然天光。

那麼對於技術,什麼樣的態度才是審慎的?大家不是應該對技術創造的諸多成果──抱有天然的善意嗎?因為它畢竟讓人離自由更近了一步。美,力量,玄幻,宇宙探索,思想呈現,動員組織,效率,寫作,這些都無一例外與技術產生共振,構成某種微妙的生活圖景。而沒有信息的流動和撞擊,人將不復為人。衹是在日常生活景觀中,技術和人工智能,是親善,還是入侵,是趨勢,還是失控,都是未知。但就核彈而言,死亡就是預設值。

如古人說的,他山之石,可以攻玉。熱愛技術,承認這是智慧的載體,抱著一種奇思妙想的心情去感受,克服因為技術自帶的暗黑和冰冷氣質而產生的不適感,把對技術參數的冰冷看成高分和成果,克服對技術的偏見,從被動接受到主動認知,知其越界之後的危害性,才可能一窺技術的奧妙。

人類進展到今天,技術或已成文明的基石。以你正在敲字的MacBook Air為例,它已經是一塊讓記憶和思想留存的樂土。除了不斷學習和運用新技術,一個人將成為自己的桎梏。

而一個現代人的死,將復活於一個虛擬的空間。


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一大早

鄰居送來一個舊玩具

它嘩嘩嘩響著

好像說

從一個女孩到另一個女孩

歡笑也要接力


一大早

孩子們在操場上

按照指令走蛇形

總有一天他們會瞥見

陽光穿越鐵絲網的剎那

濺起了火星


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親愛的女兒

原諒我曾掙扎如泥淖

不想妳來到噪音和殺戮的世界

 

在妳落腳的這塊陸地

總有人想讓我們聽他們的

好像我們命帶價籤

 

親愛的女兒

看到妳的第一眼

妳茫然地辨識著

這個陌生的星球

 

下午三點的陽光斜斜地

想把妳抱起來

風吹著綠葉的口哨

大聲歡迎妳的到來

 

親愛的女兒

鼓動著妳的小胸膛

變幻著妳的小手指

安安心心地吃奶,吐奶

每天妳都那麼努力地長大

 

妳清涼的眼神

有時定定地看著我

看得我發慌

仿佛早就知道我的軟弱

 

妳好奇地打探著

這所租來的舊房子

又讓我灰菜般生出羞愧

 

2016.6.23早,6.24早,水南莊

2016.8.25午後,下午,天藍,水南莊

2016.9.2上午,晴藍,水南莊

2016.9.4上午,晴藍,南磨房

喬喬四個月了~(小2)