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比人更先衰老的,是自己的耳朵。

耳朵聽了太多的電聲,反而忘了人聲是一種什麽聲音。

如花落,如嬰兒的啼哭,狗叫,蛐蛐,風雨雷電,一切屬於自然的,變得珍奇。

這個珍奇,本也包括和親人在一起的喁喁私語,或家長里短。

現在家裏,口袋裏,耳朵上,地鐵裏,電影院,商城,音樂會,一切行止之處,已被無數不同形狀的電器所包圍。

人類把這些東西統為“智能”,或其他更有殺傷力的名稱,如蘋果。

我們的腦子被空前閒置起來,祗需要動動手指,Touch一下。

人類在進化成一種電子化的動物,行為也開始趨同。

人類被電器裹挾著, 每個人都給自己身上安裝了一個門鈴,并活在永久的等待之中。

哦,頭上都長了天線的人類,變成一個個天線寶寶。

把自己的思考權利拱手相讓給那些智能機器,把自己的記憶功能給了各種存儲介質。寫字,不,敲字就够了,就如我現在做的。

離一種原始的、本真的生活越來越遠,並且這種現象被命名為文明的進步,科技的進步,從而得到人類的充分授權和認同。

人們於是甘於授予自己遲鈍的權利,雷同的權利。

有誰記得一盞煤油燈如何發光?有誰用鋼筆寫字告訴別人這是自己的筆跡?有誰還在地裏操勞嘗到了汗水的鹹澀?有誰知道文字還有一種寫法叫正體字?有誰還在把散步當成一種心靈的漫步?有誰還記得棺材和桌椅的木匠活,以及,刨花的香味?

我們祗能活在工業設計的統一性和所謂的時尚潮流生猛大片裏嗎?

我們祗能看著自己被所謂時尚設計成另外一個非我的形象嗎?

我們不是藉著自己豐富的心靈來和這個世界一起呼吸嗎?

我們爲什麽把一種生活的殘缺當成理所當然的禮物來笑納。

在各種電聲裏無處藏身,我們讓自己的耳朵變成肥頭大耳。

把自己架空了,然後抱怨那些局限我們的事物,卻不反思我們放棄在先,卻不認同我們的生活已沒有了底線。

是的,我們是在不斷放棄自己的過程裏面,這是一切焦慮之源。

面對這個物質世界,即使它以精美和奢華的面目出現,難道我們不該保持起碼的警惕之心,告訴自己生活不能在別處?難道我們不應首先活在自己的內心裏面,然後才能敞開懷抱,擁抱一個陽光明媚如畫卷的日子,并學會自得其樂?

讓自己活在真實和真相裏面,而盡可能少的活在虛擬世界裏,這是在一個電子化的世界裏我們唯一能做的了。換言之,一個虛擬的世界,應是真實世界的一部份,而不是像現在這樣,我們無一例外地被吸納到一個虛擬之境,忘記了什麽是真實和自我。

因為這個虛擬世界的強大,對我們要求恰恰是,這會是一場持續不斷的自我之戰。我們必須回到那個有陀螺標記的原點。那裏有我們獲得生之能量的陽光空氣水。

以自己的身體為樂器,相信自己不曾被割斷的喉嚨,和那些風聲海浪一樣洋溢的語言和熱情。這些生命原本的饋贈,不曾消失,不能放棄。讓我們為自己保留一點源泉,一點靈性和良知,而不是讓自己過於焦慮,徒然增加自己的戾氣。

那麼,就讓我們如其所是的生活吧。

 

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在一個默許指令下

路人甲把自己置於危險之中

卻不知這是一場自我傷害

 

路人甲看不見

地鐵裏越來越密集的鐵柵欄

 

路人甲看不見

被開發商攔腰截斷的人行道

 

路人甲看不見

路邊草坪和人行道上停滿了豪華車

 

路人甲看不見

下場雨二環路上也會死人

 

我不知道這些路人甲

爲什麽要爭取的是

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我不知道這些路人甲

靠什麼樣的拐杖

才讓自己不絕望?

 

這些路人甲

難道感受不到身體裏的時間

被切割成碎片的疼痛?

 

這些路人甲

難道不明白這個獵殺生命的陷阱

比得上任何一部恐怖電影?

 

麻將一樣堆砌著

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對路人甲而言,比起制度性戕害,自我傷害也是一個難以回避的議題。因為一種自我保護的心理機制,這種自我傷害在一種自動默許程序裏持續發揮作用,影響著普通大眾的思維意識和行為表現,如著名的中國式闖紅燈。除了那些身份可疑的交通協管,沒有誰鼓勵和引導路人甲去闖紅燈。但路人甲除了自己闖紅燈,有時也推著嬰兒車闖。路人甲沒有意識到這是一種自我傷害,心靈的,生理的,也可能是行為的。闖紅燈顯而易見的壞處被路人甲輕易消解和忽略。路人甲在追隨闖紅燈的人群中,得到了一種變相的安全感。就像《黑衣人》裏面的記憶消除器,路人甲善於選擇性記憶,有意忽略對自己的傷害,認為那是無關大局和素養的。一個由路人甲組成的社會,就是一個裝了記憶消除器的族群。而一個善於遺忘、集體犯罪和自我原諒的民族是可悲的。

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下午在折騰電腦,翻牆看YOUTUBE,試鞋,是從淘寶買的CAMPER尾貨,這時警察來電。象徵性問我在哪過年,父母是在我兄弟家還是在老家,問我出不出去,我說你怎麼說話像審問犯人。那個老警察馬上說我拿你當朋友你怎麼這麼說,隨即又說兩會了你有什麽動向要告知什麽的。隨即挂了電話,這是2.28警察來電後的又換了個警察來騷擾。當然,在警察,那是“工作”。無緣無故打擾一個合法公民的正常生活,就是他們“工作”的一部份。也許他們會想,沒給你上崗就夠客氣的了,絕不會想這是對我的冒犯。警察淪為幫兇而不自知,甚至是自知而愈為之,都是很可悲的事。一個亂象之地,國無國體,人無人格,擁擠在大街小巷公交地鐵和不知何時被拆的房子裏,勞累而活而死,幾乎構成了生活的全部。

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上圖為黃榮燦為二二八事件所做木刻版畫〈恐怖的檢查——台灣二二八事件〉,是唯一具體描繪該事件的圖像作品,當年以力軍」名義發表在《文匯報》。黃榮燦後來成為白色恐怖受難者,1952年在馬場町遭槍決。

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